Fine! You stupid jerk.

okay, so I weighed myself this morning. I gained weight. It sucks. But while I was in the shower sulking I realized that I am the only one to blame and that I have not really been doing everything I could and should be doing. I should be drinking more water, and not eating the pop tarts that I had this morning. But mostly I need to start an exercise program. We have a treadmill (which I haven't used in months) and we just got a Bowflex about 2 weeks ago (which I haven't used for more than 10 minutes since we got it). I guess I just really don't know where to start and I don't want to do the wrong things, so that is my new plan. Try and find something or someone that can help me come up with a schedule and teach me how to use the stuff I've got. So if anyone has any tips on how to use a bowflex and how to stay motivated and not burn myself out like I did all the other times I have started let me know. Thanks!

One week in

Okay so this morning I did my weigh in, just for kicks n' giggles, knowing that I hadn't lost any weight. I wasn't surprised but I was a tiny bit disappointed. I am okay with it though, because I feel good. I feel like what I am doing is making a difference in my energy level and it will eventually make a difference in how I look as well. I am not going to lie, this has not been super duper easy or anything. I work in an office with a bunch of ladies. Ladies that like to snack and bring goodies to work. In fact I was offered Oreos bright and early this morning when I walked in the door at 8:30 am. I was proud that I refused because I freaking love Oreos. It has been hard to tell my body that it doesn't need that snack around 2 or that cookie. I actually told myself (out loud) the other day that I didn't need a snack, I just needed to refill my water bottle. A little embarrassing, yes, but I don't think anyone heard me. I think my body is starting to catch on though. It seems to be getting easier to last from lunch to dinner without anything. Now all I have to do is avoid the goodies-laden receptionist desk. Wish me luck.

Ugh!!!

So I stepped on the scale the other morning (because I apparently enjoy those feelings of dread, regret and disgust when I see the numbers peeking out from behind my little piggies) thinking oh, I don't know, that the weight would just have fallen off by itself in the past few weeks. But I was sadly reminded that without at least a little effort on my part that number was always going to stay the same or worse get larger. So I set out on a mission to find something that wouldn't cost me alot and be something that I could maintain for a long long long time. I have tried a few different things in my lifetime of weight struggles and never found a good solution that worked for me. In Jr. High school I tried the bulimia thing for a second and the anorexia thing for a second until I realized that "oh yeah, you are and idiot and those are actual diseases and not just something you can decide to do." So I quickly stopped that nonsense. Throughout Jr. and High School I actually maintained a healthy, albeit not my ideal but healthy weight and I was alright with it. About a year after High School I started having stomache problems. Everytime I ate something I would have really bad stomache cramps and other unpleasant issues, so I didn't really eat much for two weeks. I lost about 30 pounds in that two weeks and kept it off until after my first year of college. Thats when I got my desk job. So here I sit at my desk job 7 years later and 100 pounds heavier than when I started. Until two days ago when I stummbled upon this website. http://www.nosdiet.com/ . I spent about an hour (instead of cleaning my house) reading this website and other websites reviewing this "diet". It all just made sense. How simple and common sensicle and free. Unlike the Medifast diet I went on two years ago. Which I did actually really love and lost alot of weight on. For the month that I could afford it. But this seems like something that I can do. I mean people have been doing it for eons with no problem. So today I start on a new, hopefully lifelong journey to good health. Wish me luck (the one person that mught actually read this). And if you have any tips on good exercise regimens let me know. I will try to keep this blog updated on my progress.